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Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Confessions of a Single Woman: Marriage Will Not Deliver You

Guest Author, Tamara Davis, blesses evans4life with more insight for the single woman!

Guest Author, Tamara Davis
To read more from Tamara, click here!


Confessions of a Single Woman: Marriage Will Not Deliver You

               Over the last few days, the Lord has really ministered to me about singleness and my life as a single woman of God. For quite some time, He’s been undoing a mindset I had about being single. I don’t know if I am the only who’s ever thought this way but I want to share with you something about me that may help you to understand, and perhaps be delivered from erroneous thinking when it comes to being single in the Lord.
For a very long time, I thought life without a mate was pointless.  Because of my upbringing, I received messages that the only great thing was a relationship and having a man in your life. I was a single parent and I used to believe that children were a chore, not a joy.  So there I was, three kids with no husband.  To me, life was just life and there was no excitement and joy to it because all I did was work and come home to take care of my kids. However, behind the scenes, I tried to fill my own void by being with different men with the hopes that one of them would eventually “see” me and rescue me from my mundane life of parenting and work.
I started going back to church but my mindset was still this:  I didn’t want to own a home without a husband, I didn’t want to travel without a husband, I didn’t want to “do” life without a husband. In other words, there was no “life” in single living. I only saw “joy” with a man. Now, no one ever said these words to me but these messages were indirectly sent to me by surroundings and upbringing. One day, the Lord challenged me and said, “Tamara, let me show you what I can do in your life without a husband.”  When He said that, I immediately knew He wasn’t trying to demean or put down marriage because He created marriage. What He wanted me to see was how beautiful my life could be in Him.  I surrendered to the challenge and friends, the Lord has not disappointed me!

Over the last 10 years, He has truly magnified Himself in my life. However, two years ago, I thought I was ready for a relationship. I thought I was headed for marriage only to discover that God was now going for the gusto. He wanted me DELIVERED!  He has blessed me indeed with some wonderful, material things and full, beautiful, peaceful life.  But underneath the hidden surface, there were thoughts and behaviors lying dormant and hiding in my spirit until He dropped a mind renewing, heart-shifting, spirit changing revelation on me yesterday—marriage will not deliver you! I’ll say it again—marriage will not deliver you! Some of you may already know that and are walking strongly in that revelation.  Praise God!  I, on the other hand, just GOT IT!  I didn’t want to accept my singleness, even though I seemed to be excelling in it. In my spirit, there was a battle going on because I was really waiting for “life to begin” with marriage. I was SO wrong!  So on yesterday, I officially gave up my quest to supersede God’s timing in my life. 

Ladies, if we don’t get this, we will keep settling for Buster.  I don’t need to tell you who Buster is because you already know.  We must make God our “more than enough” in every area and you can start by confessing that He is. I had to pray for the desire to have God be my more than enough because truthfully, I didn’t want to. The enemy had me deceived by making me think that making God my “more than enough” was boring. HOGWASH!!!  See, I didn’t want to get caught up in this “I’m doing me” foolishness. I am not my own and for my survival, He has to be my more than enough. Period! Friends, when we make Him our “more than enough” there won’t be any room for Buster. By making God your “more than enough” you give Him access to shape and shift your life in ways you never imagined.  Ask me how I know. J

© 2014



  1. Karen, I found your blog several months ago through your post "How Can I Find A God Sent Husband?" I was researching a piece for my own faith-based blog ( ) and I have kept your link open on my phone the whole time because I kept wanting to reply to your post! Basically, I just wanted to tell you how much I LOVE your article and your story. :)

    Tamara, Great guest post. It goes along with the ideas Karen discusses and is a topic SO needed today! My husband and I were together for 17 years when he suddenly walked out. I was 5 months into the surprise pregnancy of our 5th little boy at the time. There is no excuse for what he did or is doing, but I also wonder what I contributed to my situation by trying to dictate God's timing for my marriage (as the Bible tells us, "Remove the wooden beam from your own eye first!" (Matt 7:5) If I had waited for a God-sent man would my boys and I be in this situation now? I'll never know.

    I do hope to meet someone and get married one day, but right now, I am feeling more complete in myself now than I ever did with my husband. I wonder what plans God has for those who follow His path from the beginning? Amazing!

    I identify with a lot of what you wrote. Thanks for sharing.

    Karen, keep up the good work. I'll be back often! :)

    1. Strahlen: Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and for staying in touch with the blog. God remains faithful! May he give you the desires of your heart. Stay in touch!